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Two irish guys walk out of a bar...

Muahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!! ^^^^^^

A blonde walks into the cleaners and drops a dirty skirt off to be cleaned.
The nice lady behind the counter says "thank you, come again".
To which the blonde replies: "no, it's toothpaste this time you nosy bit*h!"

^ OMG!!!!!!!!! hahahaha

womens rights.






haha

Guy walks into a bar with jumper cables around his neck.

Bartender looks up and says, "Don;t start annything."

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Hot dog walks into a bar

bartender looks up and says "oh no, we don't serve food here"

A Pirate walk into a bar with a ships steering wheel hanging out of his pants.

The bartender says, "Yikes. That looks a little painful."

Upon which the pirate replies,"YAR! ITS DRIVING ME NUTS!"

Joe sets up his friend Mike on a blind date with a young lady-friend of his. But Mike is a little worried about going out with someone he's never seen before. "What do I do if she's really unattractive?" says Mike. "I'll be stuck with her all night."

"Don't worry," Joe says, "just go up to her door and meet her first. If you like what you see, then everything goes as planned. If you don't just shout 'Aaaaaauuuggghhh!' and fake an asthma attack."

So that night, Mike knocks at the girl's door and when she comes out he is awe-struck at how attractive and sexy she is. He's about to speak when the girl suddenly shouts:

"Aaaaaauuuggghhh!"

A lawyer named Strange died, and his friend asked the tombstone maker to inscribe on his tombstone, "Here lies Strange, an honest man, and a lawyer."

The inscriber insisted that such an inscription would be confusing, for passersby would tend to think that three men were buried under the stone.

However he suggested an alternative: He would inscribe, "Here lies a man who was both honest and a lawyer."

That way, whenever anyone walked by the tombstone and read it, they would be certain to remark:

"That's Strange!"

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They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. As a plumber, I'm delighted to see all these teenagers wearing low-rider jeans.